Official Statement from Texas State Board of Education
AUSTIN, TX (The Borowitz Report) – Attempting to explain its controversial decision to revamp its history textbooks, The Texas State Board of Education issued an official statement today.
The one-sentence statement reads as follows: “If you were the state responsible for George W. Bush being elected President, you’d throw out your history books, too.”
In other news, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said it had been difficult to get Republicans to vote for health care because of a “tactical error” by President Obama: “He should have called it ‘gun care.’”
Elsewhere, employment numbers were up, largely due to the government’s decision to start counting people working on Farmville.