Funny quotes from bash.org

@ http://bash.org/?349567
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all...
and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda
standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

@ http://bash.org/?171987
Im going to be the next hitler
Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
why the clown
See? no one cares about the jews
lmao

@ http://bash.org/?262353
Hey Mike
what?
Pussy.
er?
Pussy.
and?
Pussy.
...
Pussy.
i dont get it
AND YOU NEVER WILL.
bastard

@ http://bash.org/?25464
"There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
That's only 2 types of people, kow.
STUPID

@ http://bash.org/?8814
I gotta go.  There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep
me out.
Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

@ http://bash.org/?6460
what the fuck is wtf

@ http://bash.org/?376790
Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude

@ http://bash.org/?214810
whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
My you're looking "acute" today
fuck you

@ http://bash.org/?352172
I broke my G-string while fingering a minor :(
...
I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.
Oh well, time to buy new strings.

@ http://bash.org/?1730
If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
i dont think so
Wanna go camping?

@ http://bash.org/?217453
<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...

@ http://bash.org/?139697
can you help me install GTA3?
first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
...

@ http://bash.org/?628630
I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
and got mauled
and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into
the cage
a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in

@ http://bash.org/?424487
JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and talk to him about my problems? or will he not care?
Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob.
JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up
Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please.

@ http://bash.org/?367896
Capitalization is the difference between
"I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."