Pharma Switch
My Chinese doctor friend - "If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your erectrician."
We have 3 stupid stages of life!
Teen Age: Have Time & Energy But No Money
Middle Age: Have Money & Energy - No Time
Old Age : Have Time & Money - No Energy
Middle Age: Have Money & Energy - No Time
Old Age : Have Time & Money - No Energy
Management and staff
A man in a hot air balloon, realising he was lost, reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended further and shouted to the lady, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am"
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be in IT," said the balloonist.
"Actually I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've been as helpful as a chocolate teapot. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now, somehow, it's now my f**king fault!”
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be in IT," said the balloonist.
"Actually I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've been as helpful as a chocolate teapot. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now, somehow, it's now my f**king fault!”
The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display..
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy tohave such a large collection of
Teddy Bears,
She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she
has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,
Well, how was it?'The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display..
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy tohave such a large collection of
Teddy Bears,
She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she
has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,
Well, how was it?'The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'
The Scottish Loan
An Aberdonian visiting in Glasgow walked into a bank at George Square
and asked for the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to Greece on business for
two weeks and needed to borrow £5,000 and that he was not a depositor of
the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan, so the Aberdonian handed over the keys to his new
Porshe.
The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.
The Aberdonian produced the title and everything checked out. The
loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and
apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh
at the Aberdonian for using a £130,000 Porsha as collateral for a £5,000
loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Porsha down into the bank's
underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Aberdonian returned, repaid the £5,000 and the
interest of £23.07 in full. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very
happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is why would you
bother
to borrow £5,000 when you are a multi millionaire?"
The Aberdonian replied, "Far Hiv Ye Bin, where else in Glasgow can I
park my car for two weeks for only £23.07 and expect it to be there when I
return?
and asked for the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to Greece on business for
two weeks and needed to borrow £5,000 and that he was not a depositor of
the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan, so the Aberdonian handed over the keys to his new
Porshe.
The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.
The Aberdonian produced the title and everything checked out. The
loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and
apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh
at the Aberdonian for using a £130,000 Porsha as collateral for a £5,000
loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Porsha down into the bank's
underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Aberdonian returned, repaid the £5,000 and the
interest of £23.07 in full. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very
happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is why would you
bother
to borrow £5,000 when you are a multi millionaire?"
The Aberdonian replied, "Far Hiv Ye Bin, where else in Glasgow can I
park my car for two weeks for only £23.07 and expect it to be there when I
return?
Saturday morning
On Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the 4x4, and proceeded to reverse out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
"The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied,
"Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
"The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied,
"Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
Etiquette
During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students:
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies "Wait a minute; I'm going for a pee."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Billy says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
The teacher passed out…..
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies "Wait a minute; I'm going for a pee."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Billy says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
The teacher passed out…..
Family problems
Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot
after shot.
The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to
get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't
even met once.' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a
woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot
of family problems.'
The American said, talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a
couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married
her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's
father-in-law.
Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and
so he is my uncle.
Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my
brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I
am my own grandson.. And you say you have family problems...
The Indian fainted…
after shot.
The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to
get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't
even met once.' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a
woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot
of family problems.'
The American said, talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a
couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married
her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's
father-in-law.
Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and
so he is my uncle.
Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my
brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I
am my own grandson.. And you say you have family problems...
The Indian fainted…
Pilot & Lesbian
An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronefs, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronefs, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
Super Duper Computer Store...
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about
buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou .
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou .
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to
write proposals, track expenses and run my business.
What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can
track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about
buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou .
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou .
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to
write proposals, track expenses and run my business.
What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can
track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............
The Texan
You know how everything in Texas is bigger than anywhere else? Well,
there was this Texan living in Bristol a while back. Huge fellow he was,
had to duck under all but the highest of doorways, and often had to go
through sideways. And he was always going on about how much bigger
things were back home, used to really bore everyone senseless with his
bragging.
Anyway, he died one day, and wound up in a mortuary where a friend of
mine worked. Charlie was telling me about the trouble they had, trying
to find a coffin big enough to plant him in. They looked everywhere, but
there was nothing that even came close, and it would take time to have
one specially made. "So what did you do?" I asked.
"Oh," said Charlie, "it was simple, really. We gave him an enema and
buried him in a shoe box."
there was this Texan living in Bristol a while back. Huge fellow he was,
had to duck under all but the highest of doorways, and often had to go
through sideways. And he was always going on about how much bigger
things were back home, used to really bore everyone senseless with his
bragging.
Anyway, he died one day, and wound up in a mortuary where a friend of
mine worked. Charlie was telling me about the trouble they had, trying
to find a coffin big enough to plant him in. They looked everywhere, but
there was nothing that even came close, and it would take time to have
one specially made. "So what did you do?" I asked.
"Oh," said Charlie, "it was simple, really. We gave him an enema and
buried him in a shoe box."
Fire Extinguisher
dispatch @ ann summers ltd.... THANK U 4 UR RECENT ORDER. u asked 4 the large red vibrator pictured on p47 PLEASE RE-ORDER as this is a fire extinguisher
Laws Newton forgot to tell!
LAW OF BREAD:
When the buttered slice of bread falls it always fall on the buttered side.
LAW OF QUEUE:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you
Are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
BATH THEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIO MECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATER RULE:
People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
Which will last until the coffee is cold
When the buttered slice of bread falls it always fall on the buttered side.
LAW OF QUEUE:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you
Are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
BATH THEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIO MECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATER RULE:
People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
Which will last until the coffee is cold
Why women lie?
Only when necessary.
Why Women Lie
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked The seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.
'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
Why Women Lie
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked The seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.
'Yes,' cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!' The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
Just for fun
I have created this blog to just share all the jokes i hear or get from my friends, its just for fun and is intended to make people laugh. Having said that I am going to keep these as clean as possible :)
Cheers!
Cheers!
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