10 Reasons Why Women Would Like to be Santa

1. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.
2. No one would bother to ask Santa Claus for a ride to work.
3. Buy one big brown belt and you'd be accessorized for life.
4. You'd always work in sensible footwear.
5. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
6. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty ho-ho-ho would remind everyone who is the boss.
7. Juggling work and family would be easy.  All your children would adore you; even your teenagers would want to sit in your lap.
8. You'd never take the wrong coat on your way home.
9. You could grow a tummy the size of Texas and consider it a job requirement of a funny Santa Claus.
10. No one would ask to see your job description.

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Little Johny

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

Funny Lady - cartoons 3 of 3

Funny Lady - cartoons 2 of 3

Funny Lady - cartoons 1 of 3