Some embarrassing moments
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"A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots.
They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards.
Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look.
Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son,
she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"
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"A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts.
As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help.
The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away."
"A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots.
They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards.
Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look.
Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son,
she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"
==============
"A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts.
As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help.
The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away."
My boyfriend is stuck!
Once a boy and his girl were driving
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.
At 60 off came the pants.
At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.
Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before,
he became very excited and lost control of the car. He sveered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree.
His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but he was stuck.
"Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied.
The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.
"You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.
So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver.
Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.
"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!"
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies: "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.
At 60 off came the pants.
At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.
Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before,
he became very excited and lost control of the car. He sveered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree.
His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but he was stuck.
"Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she replied.
The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.
"You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.
So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver.
Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.
"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!"
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies: "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"
Top 10 reasons to go to work naked!
10. No one ever steals your chair.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
5. To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.
4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."
3. Inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.
2. Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
And...drum roll...
the Number One reason to go to work naked :
Your boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" ever again.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
5. To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.
4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."
3. Inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.
2. Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
And...drum roll...
the Number One reason to go to work naked :
Your boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" ever again.
Evan Bayh Admits All-Consuming Farmville Addiction
Senator Enters Rehab
WASHINGTON -- Just hours after rocking the political world with his surprise retirement announcement, Sen. Evan Bayh (D-Ind) said that he would undergo treatment for an "all-consuming addiction" to the popular Facebook game Farmville.
"I realized that I had to make a choice between being a United States senator and tending my imaginary farm," a tearful Mr. Bayh told reporters. "I had to look at myself in the mirror and acknowledge that I had a problem."
Majority Leader Harry Reid said that he was shocked by Sen. Bayh's admission, adding, "This is all the more surprising because he hails from a farm state, where there are plenty of actual farms he could take care of."
In other news, an intelligence source downplayed the capture of the Taliban’s No 2, stating, “It sounds like a big deal until you remember that our No. 2 is Biden.”
Elsewhere, a New York Times reporter accused of plagiarism commented on the scandal, calling it "the best of times and the worst of times."
WASHINGTON -- Just hours after rocking the political world with his surprise retirement announcement, Sen. Evan Bayh (D-Ind) said that he would undergo treatment for an "all-consuming addiction" to the popular Facebook game Farmville.
"I realized that I had to make a choice between being a United States senator and tending my imaginary farm," a tearful Mr. Bayh told reporters. "I had to look at myself in the mirror and acknowledge that I had a problem."
Majority Leader Harry Reid said that he was shocked by Sen. Bayh's admission, adding, "This is all the more surprising because he hails from a farm state, where there are plenty of actual farms he could take care of."
In other news, an intelligence source downplayed the capture of the Taliban’s No 2, stating, “It sounds like a big deal until you remember that our No. 2 is Biden.”
Elsewhere, a New York Times reporter accused of plagiarism commented on the scandal, calling it "the best of times and the worst of times."
New Warship - HMS GORDON BROWN
Heading for Newcastle, the British Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today. The HMS Gordon Brown set sail today from its home port of Skegness.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to Prime Minister Brown for his foresight in military budget cuts and his conduct while Prime Minister.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminium cans and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed ex US Navy) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed ex USAF) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or cataputed from the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board and the 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. The crew, hand-picked from the Civil Service, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of Britain at all costs!
An on-board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find Britain offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defence, but instead in times of conflict, the HMS Gordon Brown has orders to seek refuge in Blackpool where the ship may be positioned near the Labour Party Headquarters for photo - oportunities.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to Prime Minister Brown for his foresight in military budget cuts and his conduct while Prime Minister.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminium cans and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed ex US Navy) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed ex USAF) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or cataputed from the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board and the 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. The crew, hand-picked from the Civil Service, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of Britain at all costs!
An on-board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find Britain offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defence, but instead in times of conflict, the HMS Gordon Brown has orders to seek refuge in Blackpool where the ship may be positioned near the Labour Party Headquarters for photo - oportunities.
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