The pope receives a call from Frank Perdue one day. Frank says to the pope,"Holy Father, I have a great proposal I'd like you to consider. I would like to
pay the Church one million dollars in return for your agreement to change the words of the Our Father from: '...give us our daily bread' to 'give us our daily CHICKEN'.
The pope says, "Frank that is an interesting offer, but no thanks."
Mr. Perdue comes back with, "OK how about 10 million bucks?"
The pope says, "That really is quite an offer Frank, but I'm sorry I can't change the Lord's Prayer that easily!"
Finally, the chicken executive says, "John Paul, you drive a hard bargain, my final offer is $100 Million dollars to change the prayer to 'chicken'.
The pope replies, "Wow! Frank, I'll have to meet with my cardinals and bishops and then get back to you on this offer."
The next day the pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals and bishops. As the meeting comes to order he says, "Guys, I have received quite an offer, we have a chance to get $100 million dollars with which we could do a lot of good in this world. However, the downside is we may lose the Wonder Bread account."
Dad's deal
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his
father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up
from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.
then we'll talk about the car.'
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the
offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades
up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm
disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've
noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the
Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong
evidence that Jesus had long hair.'
To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice they walked everywhere
they went?'
father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up
from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut.
then we'll talk about the car.'
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the
offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades
up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm
disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've
noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the
Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong
evidence that Jesus had long hair.'
To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice they walked everywhere
they went?'
New Pet
A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot. It wouldn't be as much work as a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak.
She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little?", she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whorehouse and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband, Ray, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Ray!"
She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little?", she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whorehouse and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband, Ray, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Ray!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)