Puppy

One day, a father and his son were walking in the woods. On their way home when suddenly they came upon two dogs mating in the brush. "What are they doing, Dad?" asked the small child, staring intently at the scene before them.

 "They, um, they're making a puppy" said the boy's father, as he grabbed his coat and moved him along quickly.

A few nights later, the little boy woke up and got up from his bed to go to the bathroom. As he walked by his parents' room, he heard strange noises coming from within. He opened the door and was surprised to see his father on top of his mother, moving in a strange way. His father looked up and saw his son - instantly, both mother and father froze. As the boy's mother grabbed for the sheets to cover herself up, the father got up and hustled his son out of the bedroom.

"What were you doing to Mom, Dad?" asked the little boy, who still wasn't sure what he saw.

"Your mother and I were, well, we were, ah, trying to make a baby - you know, maybe a brother or sister for you" said the boy's father, now confident that this would satisfy his son's curiosity.

"Oh" said the little boy, thinking hard for a minute. "Y'know Dad, when you go back to bed with mom, turn her over, please - I'd rather have a puppy".

Cowboy and His Horse

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and
bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The
chief says to Clint, "You going to die. But we sorry
for you, so give you one wish a day for three days.
On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"

Clint says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get
his horse. Clint grabs the horse's ear and whispers
something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse
takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with
a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into
the teepee with Clint.

The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white
man - can only think of one thing." The second day,
the chief says, "What your wish today?"

Clint says, "I want to see my horse again."  The Indians
bring him his horse. Clint leans over to the horse
and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps
it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes back
with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the
teepee with the Clint. The Indians shake their heads,
figuring, "Typical white man - going to die tomorrow
and can only think of one thing."

The last day comes, and the chief says, "This your last
wish, white man. What you want?"  Clint says, "I want
to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse.
Clint grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard
and yells, "Read my lips!  POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"