Little Girl On A Plane

A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he
turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk?   Flights go quicker if you
strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the
total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman.  "How about global warming,
universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said.  "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you
a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -
grass. Yet, a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat
patty, but a horse produces clumps.  Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss
global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you
don't know shit?"  

She went back to reading her book, and the congressman had
nothing else to say the rest of the flight.

Reasonable wife

Married 25 years, took a look at my wife one day and said,
"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car,
slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV,
but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.

Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen
TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me
that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she
would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap
apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed....